i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
