I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Randomize
