I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
