If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Please, let me fuck your mom
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
