may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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