So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
