I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
