I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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