He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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