addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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