I think I just saw someone hide a body.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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