You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
