FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
