There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize