ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
