Rock
Scissors
Fuck
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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