If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
of course. lets lasso hookers.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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