also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
