Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i will never coherently bang her
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
