just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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