Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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