Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
