Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
