Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
