I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
honey bunches of taint.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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