Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
