i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
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