Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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