I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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