This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
