talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
