Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
