I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Where are you guys?
Drunk
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
