Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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