Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
