i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
she woke up with a sticky ear
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
