fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
