I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
