It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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