those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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