Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
