Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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