i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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