I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
