You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
