How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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