ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
