Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
