At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
