Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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