the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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