But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize