ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
