is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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