so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
