her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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