ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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