ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
