Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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