If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
