that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
it's like heaven, but drunker
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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